Leigha and the Triplets

Saturday, June 30, 2007

A True Inspiration (Part 1)

I have always lived my life with my head in the clouds. I was one of those people that just knew that bad things would never happen to me or anyone I knew. For example, I would never have any diseases, experience any natural catastrophes, or anything else. Those things happened to other people, not anyone I knew.

When I got pregnant with Leigha, miscarrying a baby was never in my mind. Those types of things don't happen to me. I told anyone and everyone I encountered that I was pregnant by a few hours! It never really dawned on me that I might want to wait until I had reached a certain phase of my pregnancy. My pregnancy went great and Leigha was a wonderful baby.

When I got pregnant with my second child, it was no different than with Leigha. I immediately told everyone I was pregnant. Surely I would never have a miscarriage, those types of things just don't happen to me. Then one day changed my outlook on life. I was furious with my OB because I had been doing the run-around with the office for my ultrasound and to have some blood work redone. I was told that something was a bit off with my blood work, so I had to go and have some more tests done. I didn't think much of it, until I saw what tests were ordered. After their offices had closed, on a Friday, I realized that I was going for a "tumor check" and a few other things I couldn't figure out. Ummmm....hello? These things do not happen to me. Thankfully, after waiting 5 days and having some not-so-nice thoughts about the staff, I found out that my blood work was indeed fine.

What was the turning point? The day my doctor told me that I was having triplets. HELLO!?!? These things don't happen to ME?! Didn't someone pass that memo to my doctor? I am not sure it ever truly sank in to me that I was having triplets. It was more of just a dream, a bizarre one at that. Some days I still am in shock that I am a mother of a six-year old and 3 two-year olds. However, having triplets is not considered "bad" news (except to those people who tell me they would shoot themselves if they had triplets).

Two weeks after finding out that I was pregnant with triplets, my world came crashing down. My water on Baby C broke, and Baby C being one of my identicals, it made it even more dangerous. Every visit to the doctor, which came closer and closer, I was told not to expect to see a heart beat. Each visit I did. Then I was told that if Baby C made it to delivery, he would probably not survive since he has had almost no fluid since 12 weeks. This is when living in the land of denial became useful. I just knew he would make it.

At 27 weeks, my theory that nothing truly bad ever happens to me was shot down. I was having a bunch of different complications and my boys wanted OUT. I didn't even make it to the c-section. I was now the mother of three babies who weighed 1lb 14 oz to a little over 2 lbs. I was helpless as my trio were on the NICU roller coaster ride. It seemed that I was constantly walking in on Matthew receiving blow-bys because he turned a lovely shade of blue, yet again. After 98 days my boys came home to me on oxygen and monitors. They had severe reflux and a ton of different medications. HOWEVER, I had my boys and they were home!

I have learned a lot from having the boys. I always wanted two children, but I wondered if I could be a good mother to two. Then when I found out I would go from one to four, I was really worried about my parenting skills. How the heck could I take care of all of these kids and work?!

To top it off, Matthew had many complications since he was without fluid for more than half of my short pregnancy. He was born with contractures in his knees, a webbed right arm, and chronic lung disease (just to name a few). I didn't think I had it in me to handle this situation. Matthew is now two years old. He is still drinking out of a bottle, but he no longer needs it thickened to sludge consistency. He still has his aversions to texture in his mouth, but he is improving. My hope is that I don't have to send him off to college with cases of baby food. He can now sit up on his own, do the army crawl, and even pull up to a standing. His contractures in his knees have lessened over the years, but he can still not straighten them. Matthew has a ledge down the center of his forehead from being squished in utero. His right arm remains at the same degree as it did at birth. People often look at me funny when they find out that Noah and Matthew are identical. Sometimes I feel like I need to explain, other times I just don't want to deal with the explanation.

People ask me how do I do it, all the time. They tell me I am amazing. They compliment me on my parenting skills and tell me they could never do it. They are wrong. I am a mom. That's it, plain and simple. You learn to deal with what is given to you. I wouldn't have it any other way. Do I wish that Matthew's life was easier for him? Yes! Does that make Matthew any less special? NO! He is a fighter and that is his personality. Matthew is full of smiles, full of life, and has filled our hearts more than I could ever explain.

To quote something a wonderful person, and a true inspiration, wrote (inserting Matthew's name), "Matthew will do what Matthew will do when Matthew is ready to do it."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK - That made me cry.

And your right - I didn't get the memo.