Leigha and the Triplets

Monday, January 26, 2009

No Excuses!

I think if someone could describe me in just a few words, it would have to be "full of excuses." I think I have an excuse for everything, and I can rattle them off faster than ever! Is this something I am proud of? Heck NO!

When the boys were born, I think I still had hope left that I could have a semi-normal life, for me at least. I used to take Leigha everywhere with me. We would run errands at the drop of a hat. I did notice that my friends, who did not have children, started calling less and less. Automatically it was assumed that I could no longer have a life outside of motherhood. Just imagine what the news of triplets does to a social life! However, I was bound and determined to not sit in the house all of the time. With my triplet stroller and oxygen tanks in tow, we would run to the store. Granted, it was very difficult to MOVE through the store, I was out and about.

I remember being shocked that my friend Laura hadn't taken her babies out alone before they were 10 months old. Between her husband and her mother, she always had extra hands to help her when they went out. I look at her now, and I think we have totally switched rolls. Laura is NEVER home with her boys, and I am ALWAYS home with the kids. I wish I had 1/10th of her energy and outlook on life.

Leigha lost all sense of normalcy when the boys were born. I barely had time to sleep, much less sign her up for sports or dance classes. Eventually I felt that I had to make it happen. I signed Leigha up for soccer with my friends' children. I took the boys in their stroller and we hung out on the sidelines. I made it, but I remember it was getting harder by the end of the season. They had no desire to sit in the stroller the whole time.

Noe and I have always worked opposite of each other. I would run home from work and take over. I couldn't imagine trying to get home from school, pack up the kids, and run off for a dance class. The kids were usually finishing up naps around that time. Twelve months ago Noe left for Japan. This was a HUGE opportunity to let those excuses fly. Now all four of my kids go to school. I can't (my motto) sign Leigha up for any classes because there is just no time. By the time we get home, it's time for homework, dinner, and then everyone to bed. When do I fit classes in? Is this fair to Leigha?

This past fall I did let her take a Mad Science course at the school. Don't fall off the edge of your chair, but I COULD do that! Since it was right after school, I just got some of my work done while she was in her class. The boys, on the other hand, are really secluded to my house. Noe NEVER took them out, unless it was to a doctor's appointment. So the only time they would leave the house was to go run errands with me. Now that I have a nanny while he's gone, it's no different. The only time my boys leave the house, during the week, is to go to school maybe. I feel for them on track breaks because then they are stuck in the house for the entire 5 days. I want to know how working parents do activities with this many kids! HELP!?

I think my lack of blogging recently is just due to my frustration. I tried to get back into working out last spring, but I am not doing well with it at all. I lost my workout time, before work, when the kids were switched to beds. With the crib tents, they would just wait for me to rescue them. That didn't work so well once they had freedom. I don't feel comfortable being in the garage, with my iPod blaring in my ears, knowing that they could be up and something could be wrong. Okay, in reality, I am worried they might burn my house down. I started taking my kids to the gym on the weekends, but that doesn't work when the kids keep getting sick. I am SO thrilled to be paying for a family of 6 to use a gorgeous gym that NO one is using. It makes SO much sense!

My frustration has just come to a boiling point recently. A bunch of my friends have been running together and training for 1/2 marathons. I really wanted to give it a try. I loved running in my first 5k race a few weeks ago, but it was nearly impossible to be able to attend that. I had to pay my nanny for an extra day so that I could escape. I also found out that training on a treadmill does NOTHING for running outside on the road. I just wish I could put the kids to bed and go run with my friends, or wake up early and go for a morning run with them.

So, as you can see, I am full of excuses. I just need to figure out solutions and stop sulking. I WILL find a way to make this work. I am not happy with the way I look or feel, and I am the only one that can do something about that. Leigha needs the opportunity to get active, too. That is my next goal. I will figure out a way to get her in at least one class next session with the park district. I think I am just overwhelmed with what my future will be when I have to help FOUR children do their homework AFTER I have taught all day. What about sports? When will that happen? Sports and homework and dinner? Really, how the heck do other people handle that? I swear I will be completely gray by the time my boys hit 1st grade.

I am not sure I wrote one coherent sentence in this whole post. However, this is my promise that I WILL catch my blog back up instead of letting it fall further and further behind. I WILL go get dressed in my work out clothes instead of my pajamas. It's not that I will be working out tonight, I am back at square one where I have to sleep in my workout clothes so that I won't make an excuse to get out of bed when my alarm goes off in the morning. No more excuses!


Laura said...

Being exhausted and up to your eyeballs with life is not an "excuse". It is a valid reason. I admire you for all that you do and could never do it by myself nearly as well as you do.
Keep on keeping on :)

Suzanne said...

While I can completely appreciate your openness and honesty in this post, it also makes me realize just how awesome you are. You are a SUPERMOM, and I admire you so much for all that you do, on your own, day after day.
Training for races is a lot of work and dedication. Maybe its not the right time for a half-marathon, but you certainly can keep up with the shorter races and get as much, if not more physical benefit from it.
I hear you lady, about not having or making time for yourself to take care of yourself. (and I only have one kid and the one in utero!) I can come up with every excuse in the book, and always find something else to do with the few spare moments of time that I have.
Hopefully, you'll be at the ST chat tomorrow night. I look forward to chatting/joking/venting with you there!
But in the meantime, just know that I think you are amazing!